Shades of Gray
by Confused and UntapdTreasure
Summary: We wrote this after seeing the promo for Season 7 premiere. It's a preep based on what we think the first episode will be like. BobbyAlex ship PLEASE NOTE THIS IS A PRE-EPISODE fic to Amends.
1. Chapter 1

Shades of Gray

by The Confused One and UntapdTreasure81

Summary: We wrote this after seeing the promo for Season 7 premiere. It's a pre-ep based on what we think the first episode will be like. Bobby/Alex ship

Disclaimer: We do not own them so please do not sue.

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Alex had her knees tucked up to her chin as she stared blankly at the TV. The TV wasn't even on. She just kept reliving the last week over and over in her mind. Joe...Bobby...the things she had said to him. She buried her face in her knees as a new wave of tears took over.

Bobby couldn't get her words out of his head. He was feeling so guilty. What right had he had to go digging into her past, dragging these things out that she had rather forget. He felt horrible. He had to make it right. He had to check on her, find out if she could ever forgive him. He had been treating her horribly and so much like this was just another case. How could he have not seen how this was affecting her? With a sigh, he forced himself to walk slowly up to the door. He knocked softly, hoping she'd answer, and he wouldn't have to use his key.

Alex ignored the knocking. She didn't want to see anyone. She just wanted to be left alone so that she could cry and get her emotions in check before going to work and facing him. Facing him and pretending that everything was peachy. She sneered and balled her hands into fists. Why did she have to always bury her feelings? _Because you can't let anyone see you weak._ _You cried in front of him today. What could be more humiliating? _Totally falling apart...

Bobby sighed after a moment. She either knew it was him and didn't want to see him or she was avoiding everyone. He wasn't sure which scenario he liked better. Pulling out his spare key, he unlocked the door and slipped inside. He cautiously called out, "Eames?"

She remained where she was, staring straight ahead. She heard him come fully into the room. "Go home, Bobby."

Bobby ignored her order to go home. She hadn't given him a chance to talk earlier. She had taken off. She was hearing him out this time. He moved to her. Squatting down in front of her, he sighed softly. He moved to where he could see her eyes. "I'm sorry...about this afternoon, about...all of this. I haven't been fair. I didn't mean to...seem like I was disregarding you. I swear. We got into this case...and I started digging... I thought...you'd want to know, that you should know."

Her eyes squeezed shut. "You were so cold...so...You didn't care about what it would do to me...how I'd feel..." her hands were still balled tight.

Bobby swallowed thickly against the emotions he was thinking. He hesitated a moment before reaching out and taking her hands. His voice was soft and full of regret. "I...know. I shouldn't have... I'm really sorry. I'm so very sorry." He had no excuse. He had treated her like she was any other witness or even perp in any other investigation. It had been unacceptable, and he couldn't believe the words had come out of his mouth now. "Because I do care." _You have no idea how much. _"You're...my best friend. One of the few people I have left. I didn't meant to hurt you, and I have no excuse for doing that..."

Alex's eyes slowly opened and met his. She sniffled, wiping her nose on her knees. "You're my best friend too," she finally managed to whisper. _And more._ She swallowed hard. "Joe...I knew it wasn't totally on the up and up..." She looked away from him. "The shooting...the neighborhood...It didn't...fit."

Bobby looked away and at the ground. "You...didn't want to...think about it...believe that it was more than you were told." He understood that. She had loved him. Now he had come through with his all knowing mindset and decided he knew what was best and what she needed to know. The news about his parentage had sent him on a mission. Everyone was better off knowing all secrets. There wasn't room for less. He had lost sight of his better judgment and her. Not everyone wanted to know. He had taken the decision from her. "I should never have... I should have left it alone. I know that, and I'm so sorry,...Alex."

She swallowed hard and moved her eyes over him. He was truly sorry. She could see that in his body language, hear it in his voice. She pulled one hand from his, and turned his face to meet her eyes. "I'm sorry too..."

Bobby swallowed hard. He was slightly confused. Furrowing his brow, he quietly ventured, "What...are you apologizing for?" She had nothing to apologize for. He was the one who had been on a kamikaze mission, the one who had pushed, who had forced her to do, read, and see things she hadn't wanted to and hadn't been ready for. He was never going to forgive himself.

"For yelling at you, Bobby...for my behavior. I had no right..." She softly began.

Bobby shook his head. He gave the hand he was still holding a squeeze. He immediately interrupted, "You had every right to yell at me. I was out of line. Doing things and looking at things I had no right to. I put it up." He didn't want to hurt her more. He wasn't going to push anymore. He had opened a huge can of worms, and he'd force himself to only find out more if and when she wanted to. "I'm not going to touch it again, Alex." Her name slid easier off of his tongue. He was immediately finding how much he liked saying it. "Not unless you want to, and we never have to again. We can let it go completely." He was fine with that.

She swallowed hard at his sincerity. He'd do that for her. If she asked... "I'm not sure...what I want, Bobby." Her free hand moved to his cheek, stroking it gently with her thumb. She didn't know what had possessed her to do it, but she the same unspoken need kept her hand against his cheek, staring deep into his eyes. "Bobby..." she whispered.

Bobby swallowed hard. He was fighting hard against his feelings. His skin felt like it was on fire where she had touched him. He couldn't look away from her. Every instinct told him this was horrible timing. They couldn't make a move right now. Even if she felt the same way, it wouldn't be right. Not with everything about Joe coming out, but he was so drawn to her. He couldn't seem to force himself away.

He whispered, "Then we let it go unless you decide you want to...dig further." He couldn't stop himself. He closed the small gap between them and let his lips brush against hers.

Her whole body trembled as he pulled back. He still held one of her hands. She felt him start to pull it away. She held fast to it. She kissed him again; longer this time. Pulling back slowly, she said with a shaky voice, "What are we doing?"

Bobby took a ragged breath. His eyes were wide and there was pure terror there. He shook his head. "I-I don't know. I'm sorry, Eames. I shouldn't have... That was so far over the line... It won't happen again." He started to get up, completely freaking out. Putting physical distance between them would help. _Damn it, Bobby. You just have to keep pushing. You have to destroy everything. You really are going to chase her away and inflict irreconcilable damage if you don't stop._

Watching him stand up, her eyes narrowed. "What...no...Bobby..." She stood up with him, on shaking legs. She reached for his hand as he started to turn away. "What if I want it to happen again?"

TBC…

A/N: I hope this wasn't confusing. We hope to make it all clear within the next chapters...


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Alex searched his eyes. She was about to speak again when her cell phone rang. She picked it up. "Eames." She listened and her face went pale. "We'll be there as soon as we can." She hung up the phone and sank to the couch. "He died ten mintues ago." She was still clutching her phone.

Bobby closed his eyes for a moment. Nothing that had just happened mattered. Moving to her, he crouched down again in front of her. He met her eyes and whispered, "I'm sorry, Eames..."_ Don't make this harder, Bobby. Be what she needs._

She met his eyes. "I can't go, Bobby." She shook her head. A tear slid down her cheek. "I just...Joe. I can't see Theresa...not like this." She was being selfish. This time it wasn't about her.

Bobby swallowed hard. He was reluctant to push her at all. He had already put her through a lot that day. This was all hitting her hard, but he knew she'd regret not going, not being there for Theresa. He spoke softly and tried to keep his tone from sounding like he was ordering her. "Eames, I...know it's hard, but I... I could use you being there."

Alex's eyes hardened. She searched his. She saw nothing but compassion...and maybe love? She softened a little. "If you need me..."

Bobby relaxed a little. He nodded. "I do." _Always._ "You can do this...Alex. I know that. You'll be fine." He had so much faith in her.

Alex wiped away the tears and nodded. "I can do this, Bobby." They stood slowly together. "And...you can call me Alex more often..."

Bobby resisted the urge to smile. He nodded again. "Alright, let's go." He was relieved. He grabbed his keys and motioned to the door for her.

She stopped in front of him and looked up. Meeting his eyes, she asked softly, "You going to drive?"

Bobby looked down and swallowed hard. He didn't want to step on her toes. "Yes... I think...I should." _Please don't fight me on this._

She nodded, placing her hand on his arm. "Thanks. I appreciate it." She gave him a half-hearted smile and holstered her gun and clipped on her badge.

Bobby waited for her and followed her to the car. Getting in, he started it and left when they were both situated. They drove in silence for a long time. He glanced at her and worried. She was too quiet. He finally ventured, "You know...everyone makes mistakes..."

She leaned her head back and closed her eyes. "Just what are you implying, Bobby...?"

A/N: We wrote this fic over a year ago, and we're sorry that its been slow going. I just wanted to remind everyone that this fic was written before the episode Amends actually aired so details will be different than what is actually canon. So please, this is really an AU fic. Any grammar/spelling mistakes are ours. This hasn't been beta'd yet.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Bobby swallowed hard. He glanced at her again. He tried to explain, "That whatever happened, and we don't even know for sure what happened, it might not have been his fault. And that Kevin might not have been involved."

She lifted her head and glanced at him. "I really hope you're right." Because that scene... Joe couldn't have been dirty. He couldn't have been. Not my Joe.

Bobby licked his lips and took a turn. He kept his mouth shut then. She didn't want him digging into Joe's file. "You were...close to Kevin...and Theresa?"

She glanced out the window and answered, "I used to be. We see each other only occasionally now...Chrismas party...their daughter's birthday..."

Bobby nodded again. He glanced at her. "I'm sure she'll be grateful for you then." He was trying to give her something to hold onto. He made another turn and was grateful that the hospital was in sight.

"She had Mikayla the week after Joe died..." Alex was lost in her own memories. "We were going to be her godparents...Joe and I."

Bobby swallowed hard. They had been close. Very close. He spoke softly. "I'm...sorry, Alex." He knew how very hard this had to be on her. He wished he could take all of this pain from her, make it better for her.

Alex snorted. "Sorry doesn't change anything, Bobby." She closed her eyes and sighed softly. "I'm sorry...I didn't mean that. I just..."

Bobby shook his head. He pulled into the parking lot and assured her, "It's OK. I understand. It's not enough and doesn't make it better. Doesn't change anything. I...wish I could." He parked.

She turned to face him before getting out. "You're being to nice to me."

Bobby sighed. Getting out, he looked at her over the car. "I'm not. It's the truth." He motioned to the door and walked around the car to meet her.

She stopped at the door and took a deep breath. She murmured softly, "I can do this."_ I have to do this._

Bobby glanced over at her. He swallowed hard, hoping it wasn't a mistake to push her to come. He didn't say anything, not wanting to make this harder. He stepped up to the front counter and was pointed in the right direction. He pointed it out to Alex. "His...family and partner are down there."

She moved down the hall beside him. She was lost in her own thought. She hated this hospital. She swallowed hard as her eyes locked on Theresa's shaking form. She glanced at Bobby then back at Theresa. "This might...take me awhile."

Bobby nodded immediately and gave her an understanding look. Meeting her eyes, he assured her, "Take your time. I'm going to talk to...Grayson."

She started to move away and then stopped. "He's a hothead," she said before moving toward Theresa.

Bobby hesitated a moment and moved towards the veteran detective. "Detective Grayson...." He wanted to approach him cautiously. Losing a partner was never easy. Bobby knew from personal experience.

He sized Bobby up. He ran a tired hand down his face. He narrowed his eyes. "Detective Goren..." he sneered.

Bobby raised his eyebrows. He didn't want to make this an advesarial relationship. "I'm sorry...about your partner. My partner was close to him. We're going to do whatever we can to find out who killed him."

"Your wasting your time here then. The guy that did this is out there." He gestured toward the door and the city.

Bobby nodded again. Sizing him up, Bobby decided to tread even more lightly. "Well, to find him, out there, we need more information from you. We need to know what you know."

He gestured wildly. "We got seperated in the warehouse...I told you this already. We got seperated. I heard a shot and I found him laying there...bleeding." He gestured at his clothes.

Bobby sighed. He wasn't getting anything new. "You sure you didn't see anything, even out of the corner of your eye. Didn't hear anything but the shot?" He found that hard to believe. He would have been on heightened alert.

Grayson shook his head. "Man...I can't think straight. I can't breathe in here..." He undid the top few buttons on his shirt.

Bobby watched him closely. He was extremely nervous. Bobby didn't like it. "Would you...like to step outside and continue this?" He needed to make sure he had all the facts.

Grayson let out a breath and nodded. "Sure. Sure. Whatever."

Bobby raised his eyebrows and followed him outside. He crossed his arms and continued studying Grayson. "Tell me more about Wilkes, the guy you two were supposed to meet there... Would he have done this?" He had to cover all of his bases, but he was getting increasingly suspicious of Grayson.

Grayson chewed his bottom lip. It was more of habit than need. He shook his head. "Wilkes isn't violent. I think Kevin was just in the wrong place at the wrong time."

Bobby nodded. "Someone else just happened to be there? Like who?" He wanted answers, for Alex's sake.

"How the hell should I know? It was an abandoned warehouse. Wilkes is a CI. It's the only place he'd meet us." Grayson met his eyes. "Just what the hell are you trying to pull here anyway?"

Bobby sighed heavily. He shook his head and insisted, "I'm not trying to pull anything. I'm trying to get answers. Trying to find out who killed your partner." He sounded more confrontational than he meant.

Grayson moved closer to Bobby and pointed his finger. Seeing Alex move out the doors and in their direction, his face softened. "Hey, peanut." He moved around Bobby and pulled her into a hug. "How are you holding up?"

Alex hugged him back and said softly, "As good as can be expected." She pointed back toward the building and said, "Theresa needs to go home... She has to talk to Mikayla... I offered to drive her, but she said she wanted you to go with her...be with her when she told her."

Grayson nodded. He pulled back and met her eyes. "Yeah... I-I'll go inside. Get her home. Thank you..." He gave her another hug. "Call me if you need anything."

Watching them interact, Bobby silently fumed as his jealousy peaked. He watched Grayson disappear into the hospital. He frowned deeply and then looked at Alex. "You two...close?"

"Not really...that was a nickname Kevin gave me and it kind of stuck." She rolled her eyes.

Bobby sighed. He relaxed a little. With a nod, he looked back at the door. He was silently very relieved. "I think...at the very least...he knows more than he's telling."

Alex bit her lip. She glanced at Bobby and thought about this for a moment. "Grayson has always been a hothead...if that's what you're referring too..."

Bobby shook his head. He hated doing this, dragging more people she cared about through the mud, but she needed to know. "It's more than that. Something about him...I don't trust, and I don't trust his story."

Alex narrowed her eyes and moved toward the car. She nodded. She could respect that. She understood that. She moved around to the driver's side sheerly from habit. She searched her pockets for the keys.

Bobby sighed and followed after her. He hadn't expected her to take kindly to his insinuation. Reaching the car with her, he pulled out the keys and offered, "Alex, I... Let me drive again..." She was still too emotional. He could sense it.

Alex rolled her eyes. "Sorry..." She brushed against him on the way around to the passenger side door. She smiled at him over the hood. "Habit."

Bobby gave her a weak smile in return. He nodded. "Yeah..." He slipped into the car. He silently started the car and headed towards his place without even asking Alex where she wanted to go.

Alex closed her eyes and rubbed the back of her neck. A stress headache was beginning to form. Her stomach was in knots. She then realized she hadn't eaten all day. She sighed softly. "I hope you restocked your tylenol..."

Bobby glanced at her and almost smiled. He should have known she'd know where he was taking her. He nodded. "I have plenty." He was hoping she could relax a little. He wanted her close, so he could keep an eye on her.

Alex nearly drifted off to sleep by the time the reached his apartment building. She yawned and stretched as he parked his car. "I could go for some food too..."

Bobby nodded. He was relieved to hear that. "I can cook us something, if you want... Or we could order some take out. Whatever you want..." He just wanted to take care of her.

Alex got out and met him around the side of the car. "Whatever is easiest for you. I don't want to be any trouble."

Bobby met her eyes. He reached out and almost touched her hand. Thinking better of it, he pulled it back. He insisted, "You're not trouble. Not ever. I'll just...cook us something from my fridge." He motioned to the apartment building and began walking towards the door.

Alex silently followed him. Bits and peices of their earlier conversation were flittering through her mind. She moved closer behind him, bumping into him when he stopped suddenly. It was then that she realized they were at his door. "Sorry," she said softly.

Bobby looked back at her and frowned. She was really out of it. He shook his head. "It's fine." He turned back and unlocked the door. He opened it and let her in. Following her, he shed his jacket, gun, holster, wallet, and badge. Putting them away, he ventured, "I'm going to...start on that dinner." He wasn't sure what he'd fix, yet, but he'd feed her. He needed to.

"Let me help," she said as she unclipped her badge and lay her gun on top of the fridge. She went to wash her hands. "And no arguing."

Bobby smiled again. He looked over at her. "Alright. Alright. You can help." He walked over to the fridge and began pulling some things out. "I was thinking...something easy, spaghetti."

Alex smiled over at him. "That's fine. Perfect even. I love spaghetti." She moved closer to him, grabbing a beer from his top shelf.

Bobby glanced over and nearly bit his tongue, literally. She was an adult. Allowed to make her own choices. He couldn't force her not to drink. He could say something though. "You sure...you want to be drinking right now?"

Alex glanced at him as she twisted off the cap. "I'm a big girl, Bobby." She took a long hard swallow of the cool, bitter liquid. Beer wasn't her drink of choice, but anything harder and he'd never leave her alone.

Bobby sighed. He finally nodded. "I know. I just... Drinking isn't going to make it all go away." He turned back to the food and started to boil the water. He wasn't in the mood to fight her about anything, least of all this.

Alex moved close to him, putting her hand at his waist. "Maybe not entirely..." And just as quickly as she placed it there, she moved it. "What can I do?"

Bobby tensed for just a moment. They should really talk about what happened, but he just couldn't. Not right now. He was grateful for her question. He wouldn't have to think about it. He pointed over his shoulder. "Can you grab the tomato sauce from the pantry?"

Alex nodded and headed for the pantry. "Just one can?" she asked as she searched for it.

Bobby glanced over at her and nodded. "Yeah... It's just the two of us..." He was grateful for the distance.

Alex smirked. The next hour went that way. Easy conversation and a little banter. They ate at the table, discussing anything but the case. She wiped her mouth. "That was perfect, Bobby. Now I'll clean up since you did all the cooking." She moved to stand up.

Bobby shook his head immediately. "No. Alex, you helped cook. You are not cleaning up. I want you to relax. You need to. You've had a long day. Please."

Alex had a good mind to argue with him, but she was tired. "Are you sure you don't need my help?"

Bobby met her eyes and nodded. She relaxed a little. "Yes. I'm sure. Please relax." He was just glad they had been able to avoid talking about the case. He was very worried about her. She needed the breather.

Alex put her hand on his cheek. "Thank you, Bobby." Without really thinking about it, she leaned up and kissed his lips softly. "I"ll just be in the living room."

Trying to understand what had just happened, he stared after her. His mind was reeling. She could make him feel so much without even trying. He shook his head. There's no way she had meant antyhing by it. Not like he meant it. She was exhausted and not thinking at all. He shook his head and wrote it off. He had to. Moving to the kitchen, he began working on the dishes.

A/N: We hope this longer chapter intrigues you. We love feedback so please review. Reviews are love.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Alex had made it as far as his couch. She sat down and leaned her head back to think, to relax. She closed her eyes and felt sleep pulling at her. She couldn't have fought it had she wanted to.

Finishing the dishes, Bobby was hoping his thoughts and feelings were as collected as he wanted them to be. He made his way into the den. He was about to say something when he realized she was asleep. A small smile tugged at his lips. He moved to her. He gently and lovingly moved some hair out of her face. He stroked her cheek softly. He sighed heavily. Without even thinking, he scooped her up and carried to his room. She'd sleep there. He'd sleep on the couch. He carefully laid her down on the bed and watched her sleep for a moment. He wished he could see this more often. He finally turned away from her and moved towards the door.

"Bobby," she said in the darkness. "I can't take your bed..." She moved to get up.

Bobby closed his eyes for a moment. He had hoped not to wake her up. With a sigh, he turned to face her and stopped her from getting up. "Yes, you can. I want you to. Lie back down, Eames, and go to sleep." Eames was safer in this situation.

_Eames..._ Alex sighed softly. She reached for his hand. She pulled him closer to the bed. "Then...you stay too..." She scooted over and made room for him on the bed.

Bobby swallowed hard. He stood staring at the empty space on the bed for a long moment. If he laid down with her, there was no end to the ways it could end badly. If he didn't, she'd never forgive him. Feeling stuck, the call of his bed finally made the decision for him. He slid into the bed and hoped to God he didn't do anything stupid or anything that would scare her off for good. Closing his eyes, he turned on his side, away from her. That would be safest. He tried to sleep.

Alex sighed softly and moved to snuggled against his back. She needed to be close to him. She just hoped this wasn't pushing the boundaries. She closed her eyes again as her hand came up to slide around his waist.

Bobby tensed for a moment, but he finally relaxed. It felt good to have her there, to know she was there with him. It felt good good to share a bed with her, even if it was only temporary. He was finally able to fall asleep when he heard her breathing even out again.

Alex slept all through the night. She heard a stranging buzzing noise and groaned._ What the hell was that? _She felt a warm body against hers. Her eyes slid open slowly. She raised her head and saw Bobby's sleeping form. She smiled when his arm tightened around her. She realized the noise was the alarm clock and she moved to turn it off. She was about to lay her head back down when she felt his eyes upon her. "Hi..." she said softly.

Bobby's eyes widened in surprise. He hadn't expected to end up like this. It was incredibly pleasant, but he was sure it was crossing every boundary they had. "Hi..." He immediately pulled his hands from her. "I'm...sorry. You...wanted me to stay. I...shouldn't have..." He didn't want to hurt or embarrass her.

Alex frowned. "Bobby..." She sighed softly and sat up. She finger-combed her hair and nodded. "I remember asking you, Bobby..."

Bobby relaxed a little. She had at least been lucid. "I... Yeah..." He sat up with her. He hoped to change the subject. "Are you hungry? I can fix breakfast..." He got up quickly.

She shook her head. "Coffee. Just coffee." She reached out and took his hand. "Bobby...we need to talk about this...about what's going on...with us."

Bobby swallowed hard. He looked up and met her eyes. "I... There's nothing going on, Eames. We're fine." He pulled his hand away and pointedly asked, "Right?" He was trying to pretend the kisses and everything else hadn't happened.

Alex frowned. She pushed herself up. Pushing past him, she nodded. "Right," she said softly, tears stinging her eyes. When he had kissed her the day before, she was certain they had been real.

Bobby closed his eyes. He heard the strain in her voice. Something was wrong. Confused, he turned to face her. She had left the room. Shaking his head, he sighed. He hoped to be able to drop it. He left the room and heard the shower start in the bathroom. He headed to the kitchen and made the coffee she had asked for. He made some toast anyway, in cause she wanted something, even if it was light. He only ate a couple of bites and picked out his clothes for the day, as he waited.

Alex's eyes were bloodshot as she made her way out of the bathroom. She jumped when she saw him. She hadn't expected for him to be waiting on her. She shrugged trying to cover it up. "I didn't mean to take so long. I did leave you some hot water..."

Bobby swallowed hard. He turned to really look at her. He pretended not to notice that she had been crying. He replied weakly, "Thank you..." He grabbed this things. "I'll...be back in a few minutes. Then I'll take you home to get your car..." He was trying to make things normal. He needed them to be OK.

Alex shook her head. "That isn't neccessary, Bobby. I'll just call a cab. Then I'll see you at work." _Why couldn't he let her love him?_

Bobby stopped. With a frown, he turned to face her. Swallowing hard, he insisted, "Eames, don't do that. Let me take you please. Twenty minutes tops." He could tell she was angry.

She stopped at the door and turned to face him. "You don't have to babysit me. Okay?" She then turned again and headed to the couch where she had pulled off her boots.

Bobby sighed softly. Frustrated, he moved to her. He looked down at her. "I am not babysitting you, but if you are so stubborn as to believe that and to not want a ride, that's fine. But if you can keep from cutting off your nose to spite your face, I'll be out soon and more than happy to take you." Before she could respond, he moved to the bathroom. He locked the door behind him.

Alex sat there stone still and waited for him to come out. Glancing at her watch, she called out, "You have two minutes left." _Didn't he see that fighting with him was the last thing she wanted? _Waking up in his arms, she had felt so safe. Now she felt the distance he had put between them like a knife to her heart.

Bobby walked into the room and assured her, "I'm ready." He grabbed his things by the door. He was trying so hard to bury his feelings and keep from making things more awkward between them.

Alex quietly moved toward him and held out her hand. She met his eyes. When he didn't put the keys in her hand, she snorted, "Fine." She stomped out of his apartment and didn't even turn to see if he was following her or not.

Bobby shook his head and followed after her. He slid into the front seat. He looked at her and ventured, "Are you going to talk to me?" When she didn't say anything, he continued, "You're pissed, and I have no idea why or how to fix it."

She glared at him. "I wanted to talk and as you so kindly pointed out, we're fine and have nothing to discuss." She cocked her head. "Is that not pretty much what you said upstairs?" Her tone was hard.

Bobby swallowed hard. He was hoping she had let his go. Realizing she hadn't, he was practically shaking. It was going to destroy everything. He glanced at her and asked softly, "You want to talk about…yesterday?"

"You've made it perfectly clear that you don't feel the same as me. That you don't feel anything…" Her voice was low. She turned to look out the window. She swallowed back tears. "Lets just go. I'll be fine."

Bobby glanced over at her. His stomach plummeted. Confused, he turned in his seat to look at her. "You're right. There's no way you could ever feel for me what I feel for you." Bobby immediately stopped, realizing he was saying too much. He turned back and started the car. Still shaking, he started driving. He hoped she would let it go.

Alex studied him. After a few minutes, she said softly, "You're right. Because what I feel…all you see when you look at me is your partner. You don't see me as a woman...a woman who loves a man that has his faults but she loves him anyway." Alex closed her eyes and nervously wrung her hands. She had said to much. Gone to far.

Stunned, Bobby was silent for a few moments. He couldn't believe it was possible. His voice shook when he finally spoke, "You love me? You're in love with me?" He couldn't look at her, afraid he had gotten it all wrong.

Alex swallowed hard. "There is no reason to make fun of me. Just forget I said anything." She felt so stupid. _Why did I push this? _He could never feel the same way. Not about me.

A/N: We do apologize for the wait between updates. We meant to have this up, and we promise to do better. Its mostly my faults (untapd's fault) that it wasn't up before now. We hope that you enjoy this chapter and the direction that the story is starting to take.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Suddenly realizing that she was as scared as he was, he pulled to the side of the road. He turned to face her. Of all of this fantasies, this was not on the list. He placed his hand on her arm. There was no going back. He whispered, "I love you too, Alex."

She rolled her eyes. "I know what comes next. We're partners and you won't risk it." She met his eyes. "We risk our lives everyday to do this job. Why can't you risk your heart? I am just as scared as you, Bobby."

Bobby closed his eyes. "You don't understand. You don't know everything. You deserve so much more." There was so much he was holding back.

She moved her hand to his cheek. "I know that when we kissed…yesterday and last night…that it was the most sure I've been about anything in a long time, Bobby."

Bobby took a ragged breath. He whispered, "For me too." Licking his lips, he looked away. It was so hard fighting his feelings. All he wanted to do was kiss her again. He tried desperately to keep a level head. "We should talk about this. Maybe tonight…over dinner?" He turned to meet her eyes again.

Alex bit her lip and thought about this. "Even if dinner only consists of a quick walk from the station to the deli?" She tilted her head and watched him.

Bobby nodded. He searched her eyes and assured her, "Yes. Even if. I'm not...chickening out here. Right this second, in the car, on the way to work isn't the right time...for this."

She nodded and lowered her hand from his cheek. "I know...I'm sorry that I pushed it..."

Bobby swallowed hard. He took her hand and gave it a squeeze. "I'm...glad you did. I would never have...said anything else." He looked away. "I was too afraid you didn't feel the same way and I'd make things too awkward and lose what we have. You're too important to me to lose, under any circumstances."

"You won't lose me." She sighed softly and pointed in the general direction of her place. "We should get going." They had a lot of work to do.

Bobby nodded. Trying to believe that, he put the car back in gear and headed towards her place again. He had to concentrate on work now, on this case. Hoping to tread lightly, he quietly suggested, "I still think we need to look at Grayson..."

"You just have to know him, Bobby. He's always talked in riddles...I don't know how he and Kevin ever got along." She was going over a few things in her head.

Bobby nodded a little. With a sigh, he turned onto another street. He wasn't trying to push, but he continued, "He said he didn't see anything. Didn't hear anything. I just...find that incredibly hard to believe."

Alex frowned. "Same story he had when..." She trailed off, digging deeper into her memory.

Bobby glanced over at her. Worried, he gently pressed, "When...Joe was killed?"

Alex furrowed her brow. "That doesn't mean anything." She knew how his mind worked. "We have a cop killer to find, Bobby. We can't start pointing fingers at each other..."

Bobby sighed. "I'm sorry... I'm not trying to point my finger at anyone. Just trying to get to the bottom of this." She didn't want to think it was possible. He was a friend of hers. The idea that he was responsible for her husband's and then a friend's deaths wasn't something she wanted to consider. He understood that, but he wasn't giving himself that luxury. Grayson was definitely on his suspect list. He'd just have to dig a little more into this case before he could bring it up again, prove it to Alex. He wasn't going to try to force her to see it until he had to. He pulled into her drive way.

Alex sighed softly. She turned to face him with one hand on the door handle. "I just have to run in and change...and I'll see you at the station. Okay?"

Bobby nodded in understanding. He met her eyes and hesitated a moment before asking, "Are you sure you don't want me to wait?"

Alex rolled her eyes. "I'll only be five minutes behind you...and I'm sure I'll still beat you." He really was awful when it came to take alternate routes.

Bobby smiled. Relaxing a little, he nodded. "Probably." He sighed again. "OK... I'll see you at the station." He watched her step back and close the door. Waiting until she was inside, he hesitantly pulled back out and stared to 1PP.

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Alex closed another file. She sighed softly and popped her neck. She didn't even glance up. She moved to the next file. She hadn't moved from that chair in four hours.

Bobby looked up at her. He sighed, closing the first officer's report again. He could tell she was exhausted, and he was growing worried about her. They weren't getting anywhere. The canvas had turned up empty. There was nothing new to gleam from the statements and reports they had. There was no evidence that anyone else had been in that warehouse. He pushed it out of his mind. She was usually the one pulling him out of the files, but it obvious he was going to have to do it for her tonight. He reached over and placed his hand on her file. He ventured, "Eames, we've been at this for the last four hours straight. I think...it's time to take a break...maybe get that dinner." He tilted his head and met her eyes.

Her brow furrowed. She shook her head. "There has to be something here, Bobby. I know I'm just overlooking it. I'm just...not looking hard enough."

Bobby swallowed hard. He shook his head. He insisted, "No, you're not missing it. Neither of us are. We're getting nowhere. We can't do this all night. We need to go. Get some food...and some sleep."

She closed her eyes and sighed. He was right. She knew all that was true. "Okay...I just need to go to use the ladies room."

Bobby nodded. "That's fine. I'll shut us down for the night." It was pushing ten. He searched her eyes, hoping she'd agree.

She started to protest then finally nodded. "I'll just be a moment." She turned and moved to the ladies room. She moved to the sink and splashed cold water on her face. She swallowed hard before meeting her own eyes in the mirror. "Come on, Eames...Keep it together." She could feel the tears welling up in her eyes again. She wiped them away and made her way back out to their desks. "Ready?" she tried to sound more upbeat.

Bobby nodded carefully. He studied her as they walked to the elevator. Everything about her screamed tension and pain. She was struggling and losing. Reaching the elevator, he pressed the down button for her. He'd give her till they got out of the building before he pressed. He knew her defenses were high here, and he'd never get anything from her. He quietly slipped into the elevator with her and looked over at her. He tried to think of something safe. He offered, "Where, uh, did you want to go eat?"

She shrugged. "I'm not that hungry...so you pick." She shoved her hands deep into her pockets and leaned heavily against the elevator wall. She wanted this whole nightmare to be over. She hated these painful reminders of the past. She'd worked too hard and too long to put all this behind her, only to have it bite her in the ass all over again.

Hoping to make it easy and quick, he suggested, "We could just go to that diner, down the street." They went there a lot. It was familiar and safe, and she had mentioned it that morning.

She nodded slowly. She could get the strong coffee so she could research online when she got home. "That's perfect."

Bobby sighed softly and nodded. He looked over at her. He let them lapse into silence. Once they stepped out of the elevator, he followed her out onto the street. He looked over at her. "We're going to find who did this, Alex."

She sighed and nodded. "This isn't like that time you promised that man and woman that you'd find her daughter's killer... You can't make me promises..."

Bobby closed his eyes for a moment. He looked over at her as they walked. "I can promise we're definitely going to do our best, Alex. You know I want to get to the bottom of this." _I'm just afraid it's not going to go anywhere you like. I'm afraid it's going to link back to Joe. I'm afraid Grayson is involved._

She bit her lip and said softly, "Can we just not...can we not talk about this for a hour. It's all I ask...one hour...and if you can't go an hour I'll settle for half an hour. I just...I can't take much more tonight." She pushed hair out of her face and wanted to cry.

Bobby nearly winced. He heard the pain in her voice. Taking her hand, he stopped them and turned her to face him. He met her eyes. "l'm sorry. I know how hard this is on you..." He reached up and stroked her cheek. He wished he could take all of this away for her.

She kissed his palm before moving into his arms. She wrapped herself around him and lay her head against his chest. "I'm sorry...I just...it's brought back so much. So much I thought I had...put behind me."

A/N: Reviews are much loved and appreciated. And remember this is out take on Amends and the initial plot was formed before watching the episode. So its way AU for the most part.


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